For those of us who live busy lives, we feel comforted when we experience a certain order to our lives.  Certainly the unexpected can happen, and we try to adjust to those happenings.  But when we dwell in the expected and familiar, we can sometimes fall into complacency, even taking things for granted.  And when we take things for granted, there are experiences that we, and others around us, miss out on.  So I thought I’d look at “taking things for granted” and see how that comes up in my life, and you can reflect how it might manifest in yours.

It’s Normal

It’s so easy to take things for granted, because there are so many things that are extremely likely to happen!  I can be pretty sure that most of the summer will be hot and humid; the sun will come up every morning; that the days will continue to get longer until the end of June.  But I now know that I can’t count on mild winters in Florida; we had several mornings when the temperature was in the 30’s!  And we don’t see the same birds migrating every year; beautiful black-and-white merganser ducks don’t always show up!  It’s also normal to grouse a bit when I take those kinds of things for granted and am disappointed, and I try to notice when I fall into that state of mind; after all complaining doesn’t change a thing, and other fascinating things happen when the weather is especially cold and other birds show up during  the winter.  In a sense, taking these kinds of things for granted, as long as I hold them lightly, are pretty harmless.

Getting Stuck in Taking Things for Granted

At other times, taking things for granted can cause distress, disappointment, and anxiety.  For example, I have assumed that since I have a good memory, I will always have a good memory—not true!  I find that although I do a lot of things to stimulate my mind, I forget things.  Most of the things I forget are harmless, but I fear that I will forget something that’s important.  This especially causes me concern because I might let someone down or not show up for a commitment. In the past I’ve also enjoyed keeping track of things very well.   Just this morning, however, we planned on the dog groomer coming to bathe and trim the neighbor’s dog we’ve been caretaking.  When she didn’t show up, I would have assumed at one time that something had happened to the groomer or that she had goofed on the date.  When she returned my call, she said the appointment was set for two days from now.  I don’t know who goofed, but  I assumed the error was mine.  In one sense it doesn’t matter who made the error, but I saved the groomer some grief by not holding her responsible.  I no longer assume that I am always “right” and the other is “wrong.”

In Relationships

            It’s especially helpful for me not to take for granted those I love the most.  I try to let my friends know how I treasure their friendships.  I frequently thank my husband, Jerry, for all the many things he often does without any pressure from me—taking care of laundry, helping to prepare dinner, brushing the dog.  In fact, there are so many things that he does that it would be easy to take many of his actions for granted.  But we both find it’s quite natural to express our gratitude, especially for the many little things we do for each other; gratitude seems to arise often and calls to be shared and expressed.

Why It Matters

            So there are lots of reasons I take things for granted:  I get stressed, I have expectations, I feel I don’t have what I need.  When I notice everything I have, however, I appreciate in one sense that really nothing is missing and that I have everything I need.  When I acknowledge that to myself, and I am thankful for all those things I have, I am moved to express my thankfulness to others; I experience spirit everywhere.  Even the simplest things become special.  When I engage in life with this kind of attention, there’s nothing to take for granted.