All of us have bumped up against an opportunity or challenge and said to ourselves, “It’s too hard.” We may even have taken on a challenge—tried a new sport, a spiritual practice, a new hobby—and found that we came away feeling that it was just too difficult to do. But I began to realize that it would be helpful for me to look into my reasons for using this excuse, in order to better understand how I might be limiting my functioning in the world.

Now I realize that there are things I would find very difficult to do, and most people would find them difficult, too. I never even remotely considered climbing Mount Everest, for example, and not only do I expect it would be physically and psychology very difficult for me, it is not a challenge that would be worth the effort to try. On the other hand, my husband and I determined several years ago that we wanted to go to Nepal. In some ways it was a frightening prospect, particularly considering the long hikes and the altitude (although I did have scary visions of falling into an “eastern toilet” along the way!) But we decided it wouldn’t be too hard if we physically prepared for it, and practiced in advance by taking long walks in the hills in new, sturdy hiking boots. We ended up having the trip of our lives and loved the experience.

When “It’s too hard” Doesn’t Stand Up

Sometimes, though, I find myself balking at doing certain things and I use the excuse that it’s too hard for me to do. For example, I would say that snow skiing is too hard for me, even though I skied for many years. I say that it’s too hard because of all the preparation it takes, getting the right clothes, skis and boots (even on location), putting up with unpredictable weather. All of that might be true, but if I really wanted to ski, I wouldn’t give these plans a thought. We had to take all kinds of equipment and be prepared for not only unpredictable, but dangerous weather, in Nepal. The real reason that I don’t want to go skiing is that I never was crazy about it, and more truthfully, it scared me. The last few times I skied and took some nasty falls; I didn’t break anything, but I came away frightened and bruised (my ego and body) and I decided I wasn’t willing to be in that position again.

Does the reason I quit skiing really matter? Is it important whether I just didn’t like it that much or whether it just seemed too scary? Aren’t there more important things in life to look into and understand?

Looking Into “It’s too hard”

Yes, in some ways there are more important things to focus on, unless I’m willing to look at the larger picture. I know I’ve called things “too hard” when I don’t want to be bothered doing something. For example, sometimes I’ll avoid bringing up a delicate topic when it feels like I’ll have to work too hard to make it a productive discussion. Or if I think I might fail at something, I’ll label it as too difficult or uninteresting. Or I decline trying something that’s physically demanding because I think I’ll look stupid or hurt myself. The list goes on.

In one sense, making these kinds of excuses is something we all do. It’s mostly harmless. From another side, though, it shines a light on a major deception at play: deceiving ourselves. I think practicing a life of spirit requires that I must be honest with myself before I can expect to be genuine with others or expect them to be honest with me. Spirit calls to me to accept all of me, with my fears, my limitations, my laziness, my annoyances, as well as my courage, determination and commitments. The fact is that life sometimes seems to be “too hard.” But when we open to ourselves and our experience instead of trying to cover up what we call weaknesses, life presents itself just as it is. There’s easy stuff and fun stuff and thrilling stuff and touching stuff. And there’s scary stuff and annoying stuff and boring stuff and ordinary stuff. If we see life just that way, whatever is coming up, none of it is “too hard.” It’s just life unfolding.