The ship of my life may or may not be sailing on calm and amiable seas.  The challenging days of my existence may or may not be bright and promising.  Stormy or sunny days, glorious or lonely nights.  I maintain an attitude of gratitude.  If I insist on being pessimistic, there is always tomorrow.

Today I am blessed.  –Maya Angelou, Letter to My Daughter

 

            How many times a day do you say to yourself, “If only…”?  It’s only human, especially living in difficult times, to wish that life, for ourselves and others, were different.  When we see the suffering of the world, the pain that friends and family are experiencing, our own struggles, it’s tempting to wish that things were more peaceful, happier, and less difficult.  I’d like to explore our desire to have things be other than they are, the limitations of this frame of mind, and how we might benefit from letting go of this attitude.

 

The Reasons We Wish

            It’s a common human desire to wish, to dream, to want to alter the way life is.  I know that I’ve spent time wishing I had handled a situation differently because it had long-term negative results.  I’ve also tried to imagine what I think would be a more positive future, for myself and others.  Somehow, no matter how good life is, it could always be better!  It’s also difficult to watch others suffer through their poor choices, demanding circumstances, lack of motivation and all kinds of human maladies which we all go through at one time or another.  We just want things to be better!  Is that such a bad thing to hope for?

 

            It’s not a “bad thing” at all.  The dilemma is that it demands that we either while away our time in the past, or spend our time dreaming about the future.  Meanwhile, each precious moment of our lives drifts away, unacknowledged and underappreciated.  We are spending our lives somewhere else.  Who says we can’t time travel?  In one sense, we do it much of the time.

 

            Recently I had a complete physical examination, and came to discover that in spite of my healthy habits, my cholesterol count had gotten worse (my bad cholesterol had gone up and my good cholesterol had gone down).  To add insult to injury, my bone density had dropped in every area!  When I spoke to my doctor (who has a droll sense of humor), he reminded me that I’m a “small white chick” (one of the more likely categories to have significant bone loss) and that all of his patients have a 100% mortality rate!  (I couldn’t help bursting out laughing at both of his comments.)  He also reminded me that I was doing everything possible I could do to hold off the natural deterioration of my aging body.  After all, nothing lasts.

 

            His sense of humor helped me shift in my perspective.  Rather than resenting or being alarmed by my circumstances, I began to reflect on my options.  Since high cholesterol runs in my family, I’m giving myself one more year to improve my readings; after that, I will consider the possibility of medication.  And regarding my bones, in a very real sense, losing bone density is a normal part of the aging process.  I can preoccupy myself with my osteopenia, or I can keep living a healthy lifestyle and doing what I can to stay fit. The fact is, life is quite wonderful, and I don’t want to miss a moment of it worrying about the future!

 

            Accepting things just as they are doesn't mean that we can't enjoy our memories or plan for the future.  Instead, it means reminding ourselves that if we find ourselves stuck somewhere else, we aren't able to rest in gratitude for life as it unfolds.  So life gives us choices: when we find ourselves lost in the past or obsessing about the future, we can wake up and realize that our imperfect lives are quite perfect, whatever they offer us.  I don’t know how many moments will bless my life, so I want to appreciate and celebrate each one, just as it is.  Each moment is too precious to waste.