“The grabber-squeezer hug holds the record for brevity.  One hugger runs up and throws arms about another and gives a fast squeeze before letting go, then dashes off.  The one so hugged must be alert in giving a squeeze in return, in order to receive maximum benefit from this hug.”  --Kathleen Keating, The Hug Therapy Book

 

            I take my spiritual practice seriously—so seriously, that I often forget that it includes everything, including lightness, fun and laughter.  For example, on and off over the last two years we’ve been taking care of a neighbor’s dog.  The games we play with her always make me laugh, and they only take a few minutes of my time.  One of my favorites is when this 10-lb., apricot-colored poodle sits on my lap, facing me, I scratch her back and ears, and she loves it.  But if I stop, she bares her teeth playfully and bumps my nose.  The first time she did it, I burst into hysterical laughter!  And every time she has done it since, it makes me laugh out loud.  It’s silly, fun, energizing, ridiculous, and I love it!  Anytime I feel in the least dejected, I only need to scratch Amber, then stop, and she never lets me down.  I’d like to talk about how playful moments like these can help you truly appreciate your life and how it can be restorative and healing.

 

No Space for Play

            Everyone I know talks about how busy they are.  You probably find that you are busy, too, that you’ve got too much to do and too little time to do it.  If you are also the overly responsible type, you will also try to do things that may not be yours to do, or you may try to do things to a level of perfection that is time consuming and rigorous.  All of these expectations you have for yourself leave little time to breathe freely, never mind have fun.

 

            You may also feel that you not only have no time to play, but that play is frivolous and unnecessary.  You’re so unaccustomed to doing it that when free moments show up, you fill them with more tasks, trying to catch up.  Even if you never “catch up,” you have the satisfaction of knowing that you at least tried!  If you end up being cranky or tired or frustrated, well, that’s the price you pay for being a “caring individual!”

 

            We may also get caught up in other emotions and excuses for not engaging in laughter and play in our lives:  we’re not in the mood; we’re too tired; we’ll look silly; or we’re too old to play.  Some of these reasons may be real or imagined, because we just don’t want to play.  And yet I often hear people say that they know how healing play and laughter can be.

 

Engaging Laughter and Play in Our Lives

            What can we do to overcome our avoidance of play?  And how can we do it in simple ways?

• Be silly around others!  The first time you do it, you may feel uncomfortable, but your friends will love it and at least laugh.  They may even join in!  Blow bubbles in your soda, dance around the room, sing a childhood song, and laugh!  Every now and then, even when I’m alone, I’ll do a happy tap dance around the kitchen and hum a tune.  I always feel energized afterward. 

• Talk to others who love to laugh!  I have a friend with whom I love to have deep conversations.  But somehow we always find something to laugh about, and often laugh at ourselves.  It is a wonderful release, a shared intimacy, and great fun.

• Try sneak attacks!  I love to sneak up on my husband from behind, and then grab him in a hug, and point out how strong I am.  He always laughs, and even more so when I show him my arm muscles!

• Make a promise to yourself to play and laugh more often, and find new ways to do it.  Once you get in the habit, you will become playful more and more often, spreading joy and laughter to others.

 

            The playful state of mind is not something you have to create; it’s always available as a potential celebration of lightness and joy.  When you are sad, playful moments will cheer you; when you are tired, they will energize you; when you are hurting; they will heal you.  When things are the most challenging, give yourself the gift of play, and welcome its healing qualities, for you and those you love.