I was having a fascinating conversation with an acquaintance yesterday about spirituality and religion.  I enjoyed it because we were curious about each other and also respectful as we listened to both sameness and differences in our thinking.  One thing that struck me was his talking about the nature of his days at this time in his life:  now that he’s retired, he hates making a schedule.  While working, his life was dominated by things he had to do and places he had to be on a particular schedule.  It was clear that he loved not being bound by those requirements and restrictions.

 

            In the last several months I’ve had a chance to meet some wonderful people in my 55+ community (many of whom are retired), and still have a number of friends all over the country who are still busy with their work and personal life.  But in thinking of all of them, I’ve noticed that almost everyone, no matter whether they are working full time, part time or are retired, is busy.  Sometimes they grumble about being busy; at other times they rejoice in being so active.  It seems that the busyness we experience is not so much determined by life’s demands, but rather what we demand of ourselves.  Let me tell you what I mean.

 

            When I look at busyness for myself, the contrast is very dramatic between my life before moving to Florida, and my life now.  In California, I was always busy, rushing here, rushing there.  I did my best to be present, to appreciate each moment and every opportunity.  By being busy, I felt invigorated and alive, as if life was abundant and rewarding.  And it was.  Underneath my busyness, however, there were things I missed.  I missed not having more opportunities to just “be”; to do something different that wasn’t so busy; to connect with myself in deeper and more fulfilling ways.  I didn’t give my situation a lot of thought, because I had so much gratitude for all the things, spiritual and material, that I did have.  But the gnawing persisted.

 

            Once I moved to Florida, I decided not to market my business actively.  Except for contacting a few organizations who could market for me, I decided to see what showed up.  I was extremely grateful that I had the freedom to make this choice, since my husband was still working. I used all my time for doing things I’ve wanted to do for a long time.  I started a meditation group with my teacher’s blessing; I created my own area of study for a topic I’ve been concerned about for years; I engaged in a project with dear friends that we are beginning to see take form; I joined a book group that meets once per month.  Instead of always driving back and forth to the new work-out facility, I decided to walk at least one way, sometimes in both directions; that walking time became reflection and contemplation time, different from the time I spent meditating.  I waved at people in cars and golf carts and on bicycles.   I noticed my surroundings:  the beautiful palm trees, blooming plants and exotic birds.  Slowing down opened a whole new life to me, one with more beauty, joy, connection and learning.

 

            So here are some things to think about:  what keeps you so busy?  Do you really need to do all the things you believe you must do?  Can you step back and just let some things go?  Or do you find satisfaction in doing all of it?  Does it make you feel complete, successful, important, energized?

 

            What would keep you from slowing down, really?  Does the thought of being bored worry you?  Do periods of stillness frighten you?  If you gave things up, would you find even more things to do in order to assuage your anxiety, your boredom, your confusion?  Would you begin to wonder who you are?  Who are you when you’re not doing, not producing, not completing, not running?  Who is the person underneath the busyness?

 

            Contemplating this last question is a tough one.  Who are you, after all?  It is a central spiritual question that is extremely difficult to answer if you fill our days being busy.  So you might think about your life in a different way to discover who you are.  Give yourself the gift of peace, the joy of discovery, the delight of wonder.  Give up some things that you’ve convinced yourself you need to do.  Give yourself the chance to experience who you really are.