Recently I was having a conversation with a person from my community and as we talked, she referred to this community as a “spiritual wasteland.”  I’ve heard that statement a couple of times, and it’s bothered me; I know that I’m guilty (I’m embarrassed to say) of elevating myself above others.  At the same time, when I see others doing this, particularly regarding the spiritual life, it reminds me of my shadow side that is always close at hand—the part of me that thinks I’m better, wiser, deeper.  At the same time, don’t some people have more depth spiritually than others?  Shouldn’t differences in depth be acknowledged and appreciated?

 

Recognizing Sameness

We are all the same from a universal perspective.  We are all humans—living, mindful creatures.  We share similar struggles, weaknesses, strengths, frustrations, desires, hopes and dreams.  As my husband says, we all put on our pants one leg at a time!  In this country we have the benefit of being equal before the law.  And from my personal perspective, we all have the divine within and without, everywhere.  It’s valuable to recognize this sameness when we are tempted to see others different from us, less important than we are, or even better than us.  Whether we raise them up or put them down for whatever reason, we are all equal in the eyes of the divine  It is this viewpoint that allows us to experience compassion, even when at some level we’d prefer not to have an ounce of compassion or caring.

 

Recognizing Difference

It’s easy to get stuck in the recognition of sameness, however, especially if we are idealists.  We may refuse to acknowledge that differences exist, or that they’re also important, and this attitude can get us into trouble.  The interesting phenomenon is that we “talk” sameness if we see ourselves as spiritual, but when it comes to being spiritual, we can unconsciously slip into elitism.

 

I frequently see elitism in others when they talk about traditional religion.  Those who are traditionalists are often described as narrow, fundamental, judgmental, elitist and even dangerous.  The intriguing fact about these labels is that they could be used to describe those who are critical of religion!  When I point out this observation, those who criticize traditional religion tend to want to defend their position; I would want to do the same!  For I’m an elitist too, just in different ways.

 

The problem with spiritual elitism is that instead of helping us become intimate with others, we become distant from them.  And these attitudes can get in the way of our growth spiritually and otherwise.  For example, some of you know that I work with a Zen teacher, a Roshi.  My hope is to be a sensei someday, and I have a close and caring relationship with my teacher as I work in that direction.  Recently, however, I’d written a letter to the editor of a magazine that, instead of being honest and direct, was condemning and sarcastic.  My teacher read it, and it took a number of times through email exchanges for my teacher to point out the impact of my writing; her comments were not condemning of me (for then she would have been doing what I did), but rather revelatory, encouraging me to look into my actions and determine for myself what was going on.  I had a great deal of resistance initially to see what she was saying, but when I let down my defenses, I could see clearly what I had done.  I also realized that this type of behavior would not be acceptable if I were to teach.  Being a teacher requires the delicate balance of sometimes holding a student’s feet to the fire when necessary and showing compassion, too. My teacher did that masterfully in this situation, modeling how one works with sameness and difference.  The person I’d written to is another human being driven by passions just as I am, and it was okay to disagree with her.  I just needed to do it consciously and fairly.

 

So the next time you think you live in a spiritual wasteland . . . or see yourself as more spiritually deep than others . . . or more of anything than anyone else . . . remember the beauty of sameness and difference.  That recognition will allow you to be intimate with others and intimate with your life.