Asking for Help

    I’m a pretty independent person, so asking for help isn’t easy for me for lots of reasons.  On the surface, I can say that I don’t want to impose on others.  Underneath my apparent courtesy, though, are other concerns:  that asking for help shows weakness; that I risk rejection and judgment of others; that I might be disappointed or rely on others too much.  I also have to admit that asking for help can create my selfish concern about incurring a debt for reciprocating that I might not want to fulfill.

    One day I realized, though, that asking for help (as long as one doesn’t overdo it!) can be a genuinely spiritual act.  When I ask for help, I allow myself to be vulnerable and open to possibility.  It encourages me to interact with others, to build relationship in the very act of asking for assistance.  At some level, too, I might feel I don’t deserve the help of others, so that when I ask for help, I am often surprised and touched at another person’s willingness to come to my aid.  When I make a connection with another by asking for help and then  our following through, spirit has the opportunity to dwell in the interaction itself, and we can all appreciate the joy that comes from extending ourselves and giving to and receiving from others.

    I learned the lesson of asking for help several months ago, when I asked my husband’s cousin, Joyce, to help me prepare to make the curtains for my new house.  She was delighted by my request, because she loves to decorate and had already made beautiful curtains for her own home.  A few weeks ago she came to visit, and Joyce, my husband Jerry, and I spent five days in a whirlwind of planning, measuring, shopping and cutting material.  At moments I was overwhelmed by the task I had taken on, and Joyce helped me step back and slowly study where we were and what we were doing.  Not only did she and my husband guide me through a process that was well-organized and practical, but our love and appreciation for each other grew, too.  We laughed together, contemplated the plan together, worked together, learned together, created together and grew together.  Many times we noted how blessed we were to be able to join together in this huge project and we often drew sales people into our process; when we were tired and confused about how much fabric we needed, clerks moved in to guide us and chuckle with us as we worked hard to use every possible moment to meet our goals.

    Another joyous part of this process was recognizing that we weren’t just making draperies.  It was my aspiration to create sacred space in our home, where people would feel welcomed and comforted by the environment and the spirit with which it was created.  Although it will be several weeks before the drapes will be hung, I’m certain that no matter the quality of the sewing, the love and caring with which the curtains were created will become a rich part of our new home.