On a Saturday morning, I love to wake up and see the early morning light drifting through the skylight; I snuggle under the covers and smile, knowing this is a morning I can wake up slowly, hear the birds chattering outside, and appreciate the luxury of the week-end. Of course, there are those Saturdays when I must get up early, sometimes before the sun has peeked over the hillside. I can grumble about the early hour and the intrusion on my week-end, or I can let go of my expectations and celebrate the start of another day. It all depends on how attached I am to having things the way I want them to be.

Our attachment to all kinds of things can be an amusing, challenging and developmental part of our spiritual practices. When we look at how attached we are to keeping things the same, to having our “things,” to being with people we love (or having our time alone), we can invite in spirit to help us notice our attachments and how they can get in our way, and then decide whether we want to cling to all those intellectual or material aspects of our lives, or simply let them go.

So how do we identify our attachments? First, we have to recognize that they are endless, constant and very often unconscious. Material attachments in our affluent world are the easiest to identify: how attached are we to our homes, our cars, our most comfortable chair, our most attractive shirt, and our favorite foods.

Then think about the people you are attached to: significant others, spouses, family, friends, co-workers, and spiritual leaders and teachers. Do you have favorite clerks at a store, special clients, and neighbors? You might even think about all the people you see regularly? Would you miss them if they were gone? Even just a little?

Then, of course, you are attached to your beliefs and ideas. We have an infinite number of ideas about the world, and we’re probably attached to nearly all of them. To test whether this is true, ask yourself how you would react if someone not only disagreed with you, but told you that you were wrong! That annoyance, anger or outrage you’re experiencing—that’s attachment.

There are many more categories of attachment than I’ve listed here. And there are some important points to stress about attachment. Let me give you some examples. I’m enormously fortunate to have a lovely home and a good car. I’m pretty attached to them. If I were to lose them, I would suffer. My degree of attachment, however, is not nearly as strong as other attachments, and my degree of suffering would be limited. On the other hand, I’m very attached to my husband. If I lost him, I would be devastated. Losing that attachment would be difficult for a long time. My degree of attachment is strong. I’m also attached, at this time, to having one dark chocolate graham with my green tea in the afternoon. I love my dark chocolate graham! And I would suffer if I found out I was allergic to chocolate. But my suffering would be infinitesimal compared to other things I could lose in my life. Finally, I’m very attached to my spiritual practice, and so love to experience the divine mystery in my life. Life would be terribly difficult if somehow I lost all of that experience, since it is central to my appreciation of life.

My attachments that I’ve listed simply are what they are, neither right nor wrong. They are also healthy and normal attachments (if a little quirky). So I don’t invest energy in “getting rid of them”; instead, I notice them and acknowledge the roles they play in my life.

The questions you can ask yourself are:

1. Which things, people and ideas am I attached to?

2. To what degree am I attached to them?

3. Are my attachments healthy or do I suffer or cause the suffering of others to hold on to them?

4. Should I work consciously to let go of certain attachments because I’m hurting myself or others?

It’s important to note that attachment, in and of itself, is neither good nor bad. It is how we work with attachment and pay attention to its role in our lives that deepens our connection to spirit. And spirit is ever-present to help us reflect on our attachments, appreciate the impact they have, and make wise choices.

In addition to her spiritual practices, Susan R. Quinn of the Quinn Company has been an independent consultant and trainer since 1978. She specializes in facilitation of problem solving for teams and groups in conflict. She is certified to train using the DiSC Personal Profile System. Her other best-received training programs are “Dealing with Difficult People,” “Managing Conflict,” and “Learning to Live in the Eye of the Hurricane.” She also offers values clarification workshops and strategic planning services in partnership with her husband, Jerry. To subscribe to her business ezine, go to www.thequinncompany.com. You can reach Susan at the Quinn Company, 246 Via Presa, San Clemente, CA 92672, (949) 366-5890, or email susan@thedeepestspirituallife.com.

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