Friendship is a heart-flooding feeling that can happen to any two people who are caught up in the act of being themselves, together, and who like what they see.  The feeling is deeper than companionship; one can hire a companion.  It is more than affection; affection can be as false as a stage kiss.  It is never one-sided.  It elevates biology into full humanity.—Letty Cottin Pogrebin, Among Friends:  Who We Like, Why We like Them, and What We Do With Them

     I’m so grateful for the friends I have in my life.  There aren’t a huge number of them, but each one enriches my life with love, conversation, thoughtfulness and connection.  I’m fortunate to have many different kinds of friends.  Some friends I see regularly in spiritual community. With other friends we contact each other periodically for a long telephone call or extended lunch to catch up on stories of family and other friends.  Still other friends are those I see infrequently, but with whom I maintain a bond and connection, and who maintain a treasured place in my heart. 

    Good friendships tend to have certain qualities.  They call for a certain level of commitment, where we may feel a responsibility for clarifying expectations of each other and being willing to hold each other accountable when we fail to come through.  Meeting our commitments is how we build trust and connectedness.  Friendship asks us to choose people who share our most important values.  Even if we don’t always agree with each other regarding current events or politics, fundamentally we are linked by our overall shared view of the world and generally how we want to be in the world.  Friendship calls us to agree on a level of acceptance and non-judgment with each other; it may also call us to speak up when we see a friend acting in non-productive or self-destructive ways, particularly when he or she seems blind to the effect of the actions he or she is taking.  Friendship breeds gratitude.  To have other people who care about us, love us, respect us, enjoy and appreciate us is truly a gift that we shouldn’t take for granted.  Friendships are sacred; they bid us to see another dear one as ourselves, to see the divine in them, to recognize they are the Buddha.

     Close friendships are where the divine dwells.  When we are together, time takes a rest, leaving us alone.  We often sense Presence as we share our newest passions, latest ideas, hopes and dreams.  At those times, a divine energy seems to enfold us, bringing us together in profound understanding and empathy.  Even when we have a misunderstanding or disagreement, the commitment within which we dwell encourages us to pursue a clearer understanding and resolve the interruption to our loving exchange.

     At other times, we see friendships end, for all kinds of reasons.  Even when the parting becomes necessary, there is a sense of loss and disappointment.  When we struggle with a friendship, we can open to the universal energy to guide us in discerning whether we want to resolve the difficulties in the relationship.  If we choose to end the friendship, or someone chooses to end a friendship with us, we can invite the divine in to share our pain and heal our wounds.

     The divine energy has blessed us with the knowledge that we are creatures intended to be in relationship, not to be alone.  It encourages us to pursue friendships, which is where we most deeply learn to allow ourselves to be open, practice compassion, learn acceptance, and share the love and joy that friendship offers.  The next time you see dear friends over the next few weeks, remind them of the preciousness of their friendship.