Embracing Doubt

Perhaps the balance point is best found in the certainty of uncertainty and in the brave acceptance of ambivalence as a companion on the path.  This may seem to be a curse, but it can be a blessing.  In most worthwhile journeys it is the surprises we remember most vividly and recall with the greatest excitement—and not just the shockers that delighted us at the time, but also those that annoyed us and frightened us, because they led to unexpected treasures, to valuable lessons, and sometimes, to grace. –Roadsigns:  Navigating Your Path to Spiritual Happiness, by Philip Goldberg, PhD

    Whether we are engaged in a traditional religious path or are practicing from our own spiritual framework, most of us have probably established a belief system.  These ideas frame the way we see the world, form our values and guide our thinking and behavior toward others.  They help us to explore the meaning of life and decide how we can contribute to the world.

    How we “hold” our belief systems is an important part of our spiritual practice.  There are three general mindsets which can define how we live out our belief systems:  (1) we see our belief system as whole and complete, and live it out without questions or doubt.  Another way to put this is we only adopt those beliefs which make sense to us or that are in alignment with our ideas about ourselves and our relationship to the world; (2) we are uneasy about parts of our belief system (especially traditional systems) and simply ignore or reject without reflection those ideas that make us uncomfortable or with which we don’t agree; and (3) we recognize that we have areas that we don’t fully understand or don’t like, but we embrace our doubts about these ideas as an opportunity for spiritual exploration and growth.

    I believe there are serious limitations to the first and second mindsets.  If we adopt #1, we are in danger of creating or living a belief system that may be harmonious but superficial; our opportunities to grow will be limited.  If we adopt #2, we don’t have the opportunity to understand ourselves more deeply, by examining those ideas we reject and to determine what’s really being rejected.  Does our decision to reject an idea tell us something about ourselves that might be limiting our ability to grow into a mature spiritual being?  If we don’t at least look at these issues, we miss the chance to expand our own consciousness.  If we adopt #3, however, we have the opportunity to explore what we really are rejecting.  Does a particular idea touch on our shadow side?  Is following through on the belief simply difficult?  Why are we determined to hold on to our preferred ideas and reject those that ask more of us than we may be willing to offer?

    In my own practice, Zen Buddhism tells me that we live with the absolute and the relative, the former including (absolutely) everything, the latter referring to the phenomenal world, and yet both are the same world.  Embracing these concepts means that from the relative perspective, I can condemn a suicide bomber; from the absolute perspective, I am that suicide bomber.  Can I know this not just intellectually, but know it from my own experience, from deep practice?

    Doubt can play a powerful role in our spiritual lives.  It makes sure that we don’t become complacent about our own spiritual development. It asks us to think about why we are practicing, what feeds our purpose in life.  It suggests that those places we are reluctant to investigate are the very places that will take us deeper in our understanding.  It challenges us to maintain a belief system and live with the tension of not being certain.  It provides us with the flexibility to constantly review how we are trying to live our lives, and also to welcome new knowledge and opportunities to go even farther on our journey.

    The question for all of us is can we welcome “doubt” as an ongoing skillful part of our practice?  Can we live with the uneasiness, the questioning, the “not knowing” in our daily life?  Can we rejoice in the mindset that allows us to open to the unexpected and appreciate just where we are on the path?  Doubt will always be with us on the path, whether we are conscious of it or not.  Our choice is whether to let it linger quietly in the background, or to walk arm-in-arm with it on our journey.

In addition to her spiritual practices, Susan R. Quinn of the Quinn Company has been an independent consultant and trainer since 1978.  She specializes in facilitation of problem solving for teams and groups in conflict.  She is certified to train using the DiSC Personal Profile System.  Her other best-received training programs are “Dealing with Difficult People,”  “Managing Conflict,” and “Learning to Live in the Eye of the Hurricane.”  She also offers values clarification workshops and strategic planning services in partnership with her husband, Jerry.  To subscribe to her business ezine, go to www.thequinncompany.com.  You can reach Susan at the Quinn Company, 246 Via Presa, San Clemente, CA  92672, (949) 366-5890, or email susan@thedeepestspirituallife.com.