Discipline

Self-control gives you something else that is crucial to happiness—freedom.  Unfortunately, however, many people define the great value of freedom incorrectly.  They define freedom as doing whatever they want.  But doing what you want usually means doing what your body and nature want, and this is not only not freedom, it is actually more akin to bondage.—Dennis Prager, Happiness is a Serious Problem

The second paramita of the six paramitas I am discussing this year is discipline.  In a society where we celebrate personal freedom, discipline is often perceived negatively.  To be disciplined is often seen as inflexible, limited, unimaginative and uncreative.

If we’re not careful, discipline can bind us and limit our growth.  Like any strength overused, we can make being disciplined the objective, rather than using it as a tool.  Imagination and our creative muscles can become tied up in our desire to follow the rules and be consistent.  It can distort our outlook by telling us that discipline, above all other qualities, is our most important asset, at the cost of losing ingenuity and spontaneity.  That’s when discipline becomes a burden to us and to others.

The word discipline, however, comes from the word “disciple,” or student.  It describes those who are willing to put themselves in the place of learning and growing, of exploring and experimenting, of expanding our awareness and opening ourselves up to the sacred.  My ability to be disciplined has allowed me to open up to new and exciting possibilities.

My discipline calls on me to follow up on my commitments, even when those are not always convenient or enjoyable.  As a result, people in my life know that they can count on me, and their knowing that deepens our relationships and builds trust.  Discipline also provides me with the desire to make good choices in my life; it helps me eat properly (most of the time!), exercise regularly, get enough rest, and take care of myself when I’m not well, even though many tasks beckon to me to be done.

When leading a very busy life, discipline is my partner in getting things done efficiently and in a timely way rather than procrastinating.  It reminds me to take care of the little things and that effort frees me up to take care of the important, more demanding things.  It paradoxically cajoles me into playing every now and then when I’m driving in the fast lane.  It energizes me when I might be tempted to ignore unpleasant tasks.

Discipline is also central to my spiritual practice.  It gets me out the door to be with my Zen community on Monday nights when I’m a little tired; it draws me to my meditation pillow every night when I can be present to the divine, to the universe.  It calls me to make time for others, whether I spend time with my friends, my family or my spiritual companions.

The key for me is to be mindful of how discipline serves me and how I serve discipline.  If I have too little discipline, very little gets done and I drift through my days and fall behind.   If I practice too much discipline, I become engulfed in activity and getting things done, and don’t take the time to be still and allow my creative juices to flow.  When discipline is in alignment with the rest of my life, I experience an energized balance and flow to everything I do.  So part of my spiritual practice is to be sure that discipline is my partner, providing me with sufficient self control to be productive and happy, but not so much that I become overburdened with obligation and responsibility .

Finally, discipline at its best provides me with a huge amount of freedom.  When I’m finished with the obligatory callings of life, it provides me with the space to imagine and create my hopes and dreams, as well as moments when I can appreciate what is going on right here, right now.  It nudges me to remember what I’ve learned so that those teachings can help me live my life and serve others with more love, gratitude and generosity. 

In addition to her spiritual practices, Susan R. Quinn of the Quinn Company has been an independent consultant and trainer since 1978.  She specializes in facilitation of problem solving for teams and groups in conflict.  She is certified to train using the DiSC Personal Profile System.  Her other best-received training programs are “Dealing with Difficult People,”  “Managing Conflict,” and “Learning to Live in the Eye of the Hurricane.”  She also offers values clarification workshops and strategic planning services in partnership with her husband, Jerry.  To subscribe to her business ezine, go to www.thequinncompany.com.  You can reach Susan at the Quinn Company, 246 Via Presa, San Clemente, CA  92672, (949) 366-5890, or email susan@thedeepestspirituallife.com.