Generosity

Therefore, learn to give cheerfully, seeking nothing in return; as a result, the more you give, the more will come to you.  The more quickly you empty the air out of this room, the more quickly it will be filled up by external air.  But if you close all the doors and every window, that which is within will remain, and that which is outside will never come in, causing what is within to stagnate, degenerate, and become poisoned.  A river is continually emptying itself into the ocean and is continually filling up again.  Bar not the exit into the ocean.  The moment you do that, death seizes you.  Therefore, be not the taker.  Every day renew your determination to be the giver.- Dave DeLuca, editor, Vivekananda:  Lessons in Classical Yoga

In January I explained that I would be talking about the six paramitas described in Zen Buddhism; the first paramita I'll be discussing is "generosity."  Generosity has many different levels. There is the concrete level which can manifest in my giving money or goods to others.  A more subtle type of generosity is when I give my time to others.

But generosity has other factors to consider as part of my spiritual life.  One of the first I'm continually facing is my reluctance to be generous to myself.  This statement may sound self-centered, but when I make mistakes and then beat up on myself, no one benefits.  For example, at a recent retreat I was in a position of responsibility serving the sensei; one of my duties was to assist her in attending to several altars early in the morning.  No matter how hard I tried to do it perfectly, I failed:  I was late; the incense broke; a candle wasn't lit.  Instead of beating up on myself, however, I just noted my disappointment and frustration at not being perfect-imagine!  If I had been less than generous with myself and been preoccupied with each oversight, I wouldn't have been able to appreciate each moment of this wonderful early morning ritual, and serve the sensei with openness, love and attention.

There are other ways I can be generous, too.  Am I willing to genuinely listen to others who have different points of view?  Or am I barely tolerating and judging them when we disagree?  How generous am I in opening to their ideas, to the possibilities of their points of view, to respecting what they have to offer me?  Every now and then "not giving" my opinions with all the emotions I have attached to them might be the more generous response.

How do I cultivate generosity in my own life?  One effort I make is to maintain my meditation practice.  There is a direct relationship between my meditation and my willingness to be generous.  I believe there is an expansiveness that is nurtured, a spaciousness that creates more room for opening to the world and the infinite, instead of closing off and being self-protective.  In Zen we describe the phenomenon as "compassion naturally arising."   It's also helpful to notice when I choose not to be generous to others; I may ask myself what that's about, what's holding me back, who do I blame, what do I really want that would move me to be generous?  It may not change my response to the situation, but it always helps me understand why I open up or why I close down, and this learning serves me the next time I'm withholding.  At other times, by simply shining a light on my resistance, it suddenly frees me to act generously after all.  And at other times, I will paradoxically hold my resistance lightly and take generous action at the same time; very often my resistance vanishes as I allow myself to enjoy and appreciate the actual moment when I give of myself.

So the more I practice generosity with myself and others, the more I experience gratitude for the gift of generosity that so many extend to me, and that I try to extend to others in my life.  And the more generous I am with others, the more I am motivated to practice generosity in my life.

In addition to her spiritual practices, Susan R. Quinn of the Quinn Company has been an independent consultant and trainer since 1978.  She specializes in facilitation of problem solving for teams and groups in conflict.  She is certified to train using the DiSC Personal Profile System.  Her other best-received training programs are “Dealing with Difficult People,”  “Managing Conflict,” and “Learning to Live in the Eye of the Hurricane.”  She also offers values clarification workshops and strategic planning services in partnership with her husband, Jerry.  To subscribe to her business ezine, go to www.thequinncompany.com.  You can reach Susan at the Quinn Company, 246 Via Presa, San Clemente, CA  92672, (949) 366-5890, or email susan@thedeepestspirituallife.com.