The Deepest Spiritual Life Ezine

A Monthly Publication, Issue #3 – November 2002

Publisher: Susan Quinn

http://www.thedeepestspirituallife.com

MAKING TIME FOR THE TRANSCENDENT

Loneliness leads to quick, often spastic, reactions, which make us prisoners of our constantly changing world. But in solitude of heart we can listen to the events of the hour, the day and the year and slowly "formulate," give form to, a response that is really our own. In solitude we can pay careful attention to the world and search for an honest response. - Henry Nouwen, Reaching Out

For many of us, making time for a personal spiritual practice seems impossible. The idea of a personal practice is to make us available to, and able to connect with, that which is transcendent, whether we call it God or the universal. That relationship is extremely difficult to experience in the everyday world without training ourselves to create space for that which is within and without. Spending time everyday in personal practice is what creates that space, that opportunity.

I remember when I first started to meditate (my sitting practice). I only sat for 10 minutes a day for several weeks—because 10 minutes seemed like a very long time! Still, sitting seemed to be the perfect counterbalance to my busyness and restlessness. For months, I reprimanded myself for my lack of attention to my meditation. Since I was counting my breath, from one to 10, I often was disappointed that I either got sidetracked on the number 3, time after time (and returned to counting from the number "1"), or was counting in the 20’s before I realized I’d lost my focus of attention. But I kept sitting. I finally noticed, after several months, that my attention improved, that my ability to watch my thoughts but not be trapped in them increased, and that my perfectionist desires began to soften, not only in my meditation practice, but also in my life. Which also allowed me to feel a sense of freedom, joy and spaciousness, that has continued to grow over time.

When you think of developing a personal spiritual practice, what excuses (or even perfectly good reasons) do you use to avoid having a personal practice? I’d like to examine closely the reasons you might give, and then share with you some of the steps I have taken to get past the physical, psychological and practical roadblocks to developing my personal spiritual practice.

You’re too busy. You have work demands, volunteer demands, the expectations of friends, family and colleagues. You have errands to run, chores to do, commitments to complete, deadlines to make. These are all very real and very difficult to manage, never mind to honor. I remember talking with one person whose schedule was so demanding that she said she couldn’t imagine doing meditation unless she did it in bed before she went to sleep! Since she genuinely wanted to experience a meditation practice, I suggested she do just that.

You’re too active or impatient. You get too restless or frustrated trying to be still, particularly with quiet practices. You get discouraged, spend all your time wishing you were doing something else. You think of calling a friend, reading a book, watching t.v. or being able to do absolutely nothing. I am almost always restless when I go to meditate, but that’s precisely why it is a good practice for me: I experience stillness in the center of my restlessness

You can’t do it perfectly. Personal practices can push all your buttons about doing them just right, better than everyone else, if you are a perfectionist. Early on, I frequently found my self-critical voice was running wild, noting my inability to quiet my mind, my desire to obsess about certain aspects of my life, and my meditation was a great practice in humility, remembering that I am not perfect, am wonderfully, sensitively, humanly flawed—what a relief that I will never be perfect!

You find the prospect of personal practice scary. You are treading on the path of the unknown when you make time for spirit, and you can’t know in advance what will come up. I often wondered, what will happen? Will my energetic personality change into this mellow, mushy blob when I meditate regularly? Will I have some brilliant opening experience? Or will I have to settle for a fairly ordinary, everyday practice?

All of your reasons for not doing a personal practice are, or appear to be, very real. The demands on our lives, our restless temperaments, our perfectionist tendencies, or our fears, are genuine. But we fool ourselves into believing that the roadblocks to a personal practice are solid, permanent and therefore impossible to overcome. But instead of thinking we always need to blast through them, or overcome them, or eliminate them, we can do the opposite: we can simply give them our careful attention.

When I feel pressured for time, filled with impatience, trapped in desires for perfection or preoccupied with my fears, I can make choices to eliminate these roadblocks. I can decide to eliminate a daily task that is frivolous or not really essential. I can watch less television. I can spend less time playing on the computer. And I can simply do my practice, whether it is prayer, meditation, singing, chanting, walking or some other activity, and just notice my experience. This attentiveness requires my ability to notice the emotions or physical manifestation of my resistance. Do I feel restless, impatient, angry, or afraid? Do I feel tension, queasiness, or some discomfort in my body? When I give attention to my experience, I then notice what happens. Does the experience intensify, diminish, disappear? This attention to my experience helps me focus my mind, creating space for the rest of the universe to enter. I don’t make it good, bad, right or wrong. I just focus my attention on my immediate practice, until the next distraction emerges.

There is no such thing as always doing these practices in complete bliss or ease. Certainly there can be many times when we feel happy and at peace, fully experiencing the moment. But the idea behind making time for the transcendent is that we allow that which is larger than us, that which is ineffable, to enter our consciousness. It reminds us that the world doesn’t revolve only around us, but it is bigger than us, includes us, embraces everything. We become aware beyond just an intellectual understanding, but truly from a deep, intuitive place in ourselves, that our day-to-day experiences are limited when we become narrowly focused on our personal difficulties and limitations. A personal spiritual practice allows us to become aware that we are a part of something greater and more profound. Over time, our providing periods and space for the transcendent reminds us that there is more than just this, the everydayness our lives; and we learn paradoxically that within the everydayness rests both the divine and the existence of every single living thing. Then we realize we are never, ever alone.

I’m considering having a short section at the end of each ezine that includes comments from people who have pertinent information to add to my thoughts, or have different perspectives. If you’d like to contribute, please send your ideas, and I will add them in as space allows. Please sign your email, too. Thanks!

CALENDAR OF EVENTS

Book signing, Barnes & Noble, 13712 Jamboree Road, Irvine, CA, (714) 508-9707, November 6, 2002, 7:00-9:00 pm

Book signing, Earth Song, 1440 Camino del Mar, Del Mar, CA, (858) 755-4254, November 14, 2002, 7:00-9:00 pm

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