Slowing Down

Filling up your time with busyness is another self-destructive avoidance behavior.  Instead of facing up to your problems, you can run around like crazy doing good things until your life is overflowing with commitments and obligations and you can’t possibly make time for yourself.  For all the running around, you may not really know what you are doing.  This kind of hyperactivity sometimes functions as an attempt to hold on to the feeling of control when it seems to be slipping away. –Jon Kabat-Zinn, Full Catastrophe Living

Rushing around has become a normal state of existence for many of us.  We may even be conditioned to rush when we don’t need to.  We’ve made commitments to our friends, families, jobs, colleagues, and if we’re going to get it all done and not let them down, we have to hurry.  There never seems to be an end to multi-tasking, doing things quickly, and worrying and wondering if we’ll ever catch up.  And we rarely do, or if we do, it’s only a brief respite.

Some people enjoy living busy lives.  Managing tight schedules makes them feel energized.  Some like to feel like they are serving others.  Others like the adrenalin buzz they get from moving quickly from one task to the other.  Still others like to do many different things that stretch their talents and give them opportunities to be with others.

Although hurrying around can be stimulating, it can also be draining.  It creates lots of activity in our lives, and often much anxiety as we try to juggle everything.  One problem may be that we never do anything especially well.  We also might be depriving those we care about of our full attention.  We might be compromising our health.  And finally, we are so busy that there is little time to welcome Presence into our lives.  And even if we extended the invitation, it would be with divided attention, like everything else.

I have always loved to be busy.  It makes me feel competent and alive when I am balancing many activities.  At the same time, I often worry about whether I’ll meet my obligations, whether I will complete each obligation or commitment well, and how I might be jeopardizing my mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health.  What I’ve also found is that if I am busy, I don’t have to think too much.  I don’t have to think about my desires for things to be different.  I don’t have to think of my dissatisfactions with myself or other people in my life.  I only need to “do.”

My challenge in the last year is that my work has slowed down with the slow economy.  Slowing down was not an option.  After keeping myself busy with everyday chores, I began to realize that this quiet period was a blessing.  I’ve begun to write more and seek other opportunities to be published.  I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about the transition I am in, the balance I am seeking between doing the consulting work I love, being a writer, and seeking opportunities for using my spiritual training.  I have relied on friends to feed me with their joys, sorrows, ideas and encouragement.  I’ve focused on being loving and helpful to my husband.  And I have allowed spirit to dwell more easily in my every day life.

As I’ve slowed down, I’ve begun to breathe more easily, and I believe spirit has helped me shift my orientation.  I’ve looked for opportunities to take my time going from one place to another, walking from my car to the grocery store, to the dry cleaners, to the library or to a meeting with a friend.  I’ve stopped to notice the blooming of the jacaranda trees, the greenness of my husband’s bonsais, the perfect weather balanced with soothing warmth and gentle breezes.  I’ve slowed down enough to allow myself to experience the death and destruction in the news, the frustrations and disappointment of others, and bear witness to the unfolding of each day’s mystery.  Instead of having to finagle time to meditate in the evening, I sit quietly immersed in gratitude for the loving people in my life and the chances I have to return their love.

Life rarely offers this kind of respite when we are in the ordinary busyness of living.  I often wonder how we get caught up in the race, pumping our legs and arms for all we’re worth, and not even taking the time to notice our surroundings.  I know life will get busy for me again, so how do I maintain a pace that allows me to tap into ever-present spirit, and to acknowledge and love those around me?

My first goal is to be selective about what I bring into my life.  I will make choices about where and how I spend my time.  The fact is that I can’t do everything I love to do when life is full of activity, so I will have to let go of some things I enjoy.  I will do less multi-tasking, even for ordinary tasks, so that I can fully appreciate more moments as they fly by.  I will say “no” to requests that take up precious time, even though they may feed the image I like to present of being efficient and productive.  I will allow myself to enjoy the simple and demanding moments of life, and appreciate how they fill me and teach me and enrich me.  When I talk of being busy, it will not be complaining as much as celebrating.   And I will ask my friends and loved ones to help me slow down, and thank them when they do.

In addition to her spiritual practices, Susan R. Quinn of the Quinn Company has been an independent consultant and trainer since 1978.  She specializes in facilitation of problem solving for teams and groups in conflict.  She is certified to train using the DiSC Personal Profile System.  Her other best-received training programs are “Dealing with Difficult People,”  “Managing Conflict,” and “Learning to Live in the Eye of the Hurricane.”  She also offers values clarification workshops and strategic planning services in partnership with her husband, Jerry.  To subscribe to her business ezine, go to www.thequinncompany.com.  You can reach Susan at the Quinn Company, 246 Via Presa, San Clemente, CA  92672, (949) 366-5890, or email susan@thedeepestspirituallife.com.