Comparing Faiths

To borrow an image from Nietzsche, we have all been summoned to become Cosmic Dancers who do not rest heavily on a single spot but lightly turn and leap from one position to another.  As World Citizen, the Cosmic Dancer will be an authentic child of its parent culture, while closely related to all.  The dancer’s roots in family and community will be deep, but in those depths they will strike the water table of a common humanity.  For is the dancer not also human?  If only she might see what has interested others, might it not interest her as well?  It is an exciting prospect.--  Huston Smith, The World’s Religions

We live in an incredibly diverse world, rich in a multitude of religious and spiritual practices, and we have the opportunity to learn, firsthand, about how others view a life of spirit and how their views are similar to, or different from, our own.  The question that I continue to explore is:  how genuinely willing are we to deeply understand another’s faith in a way that deepens our understanding and wisdom?

I’ve talked many times in this newsletter about the importance of being curious.  Sometimes curiosity comes naturally to me, when I’m relaxed, or have plenty of time, or respect and like the person I’m conversing with.  My challenge comes when I decide I don’t like the other person; when I judge him as narrow-minded and misguided in his religious faith; when I think she feels she is superior to me because of her belief system.  And if I’m partly awake, I may be fortunate enough to realize that all the attributes that I pin on these people are likely projections of my own narrow-minded, misguided and egotistical view of my own spiritual path.

So it may be easy for us to remain open with people who see the world as we do.  But are we willing to explore, go deeper and understand when they see the world in ways we can barely comprehend?  I believe a person of faith, regardless of his or her belief system, is called to practice openness, compassion and curiosity, especially with those we don’t understand.

At a recent book signing a young man was listening from the perimeter.  He and a friend finally sat down, and he asked a question challenging me about my lack of Christian faith, and stated that there was only one gateway to God, through Jesus.  I found that I wasn’t offended or even annoyed (although a book signing was not the place to have this type of discussion).  I admired his passion and understood his disbelief of my own practices, and felt he was entitled to his beliefs.  When he challenged me a second time, I let him know that I respected his belief, that it was different from mine, and that I could talk with him afterward if he wished.  I don’t think he went away satisfied, but I believe he went away with the awareness that my response was respectful and genuine.

So how do we stay in that place of curiosity and desire to learn?   First, we can look for opportunities to talk to people whom we know see the world and spirit in ways that are different from us.  We need to be willing to find the balance of questioning without condemning, seeking clarity without judging; going deeper and deeper as we seek to understand what another believes and feels.  For at least a period of time, we may want to avoid comparing our own beliefs to theirs, since it’s difficult to avoid elevating our own ideas and discounting theirs.  If we discuss the differences in our ideas, we’ll want to come from that place of fascination, curiosity and wonder.

Even at our most receptive, however, we may find our discomfort elevating as the discussion continues.  Note your discomfort; honor that it’s telling you something about yourself, not necessarily about the other person.  Sometimes, if you can do it from a place of honesty and authenticity, you can even admit your discomfort, and very often elicit empathy from the other person, finding that you both feel awkward and curious about each other at the same time.  Can you make that okay, and delight in the fact that you may have differences but are experiencing similar reactions?

When you begin making assumptions about the meaning of what a person is saying, can you ask for clarifying, rather than react angrily or with condemnation?  Can you simply say you have a different point of view, rather than making him or her wrong (which may be what angered you—your believing that they are making you or others of a different faith wrong)?  Are you willing to take the risk of a conflict with them to be certain that you understand?  Can you live with the truth that you may not agree with each other and have that be okay?

My premise is that unless a person supports destructive or violent actions, I want to truly understand his or her point of view.  Unless he is bent on converting, or attacking me, I want to continue exploring with him.   I want to learn to fill my own cup of wisdom and share it with others.  I want to nurture curiosity and exploration and openness.  My faith calls me to do that, and I honor that call.

In addition to her spiritual practices, Susan R. Quinn of the Quinn Company has been an independent consultant and trainer since 1978.  She specializes in facilitation of problem solving for teams and groups in conflict.  She is certified to train using the DiSC Personal Profile System.  Her other best-received training programs are “Dealing with Difficult People,”  “Managing Conflict,” and “Learning to Live in the Eye of the Hurricane.”  She also offers values clarification workshops, and strategic planning services in partnership with her husband, Jerry.  You can reach Susan at the Quinn Company, 246 Via Presa, San Clemente, CA  92672, (949) 366-5890, or email susanquinn@earthlink.net.