The Deepest Spiritual Life Ezine

A Monthly Publication, Issue #107 – July 2011

Publisher: Susan Quinn

http://www.thedeepestspirituallife.com

The Metta Prayer: Part 3

May you be filled with lovingkindness

May you be well

May you be peaceful and at ease

May you be happy

We have been looking at the metta prayer, line by line, over the last few months, and this month we are focusing on the line, “May you be well.” (To see earlier issues, go to our website.) There are several aspects to our wish to be well and for others to be well. I’m focusing here on the physical, mental and emotional conditions that all of us experience, and ultimately how we can transform this suffering.

Physical wellness

Most of us probably have an idea of how we’d like to be physically well—free of illness, losses, discomfort, and for many of us, the limitations that come with old age. I often hear people say, “Old age isn’t for sissies,” especially in my community, and in some ways that is true: old age, with all its losses, reminds us continually that we are dying, no matter what we do. So looking into this question of “what is being well,” regardless of what we are physically enduring, is a helpful one to explore.

Mental wellness

The prospect of “losing our minds” is a frightening one, because we believe that we are our minds. We think we are spouses, friends, siblings, sons and daughters; we acknowledge that we are teachers or engineers or consultants or researchers or doctors, as if there were a permanent, fixed self to preserve, when in fact our roles are constantly changing. For those of us who are older, we are reminded with increasing frequency that names and numbers sometimes escape us, that shopping lists and keys disappear, and that we space out whether we’ve taken our daily vitamins. The cells in our brains are dying faster than we can replace them, and we can do all kinds of activities to prolong our mental wellness, but unforeseen maladies appear. Should we rail against the inevitable, simply give up, or do we have other options?

Emotional wellness

With these physical and mental challenges, we can become overwhelmed with emotions: fear, anger, disillusionment, helplessness, frustration, depression and hopelessness. At times, experiencing this whole range of emotions is quite normal, and to suppress them pushes them into our shadow selves and they don’t go away; they just show up unexpectedly and inappropriately, especially when we don’t acknowledge them. These emotions are uncomfortable yet sometimes appropriate. Yet we don’t want to burden others, to be seen as victims, or to appear powerless. So how can we work with them in healthy ways?

Working with suffering

When we have a practice, we can learn to work with and even appreciate the physical, mental and emotional aspects of our lives. When we wish for people to “be well,” we are not necessarily wishing that their difficulties disappear. We are praying that they learn to work with these situations in a way that allows them to fully experience, pass through, and let go of the expectation that life needs to be any different. Suffering shows up in many different ways, and it doesn’t necessarily mean major distress. Much of the suffering we experience is not a result of the actual physical, mental or emotional experience of the moment, but our inability or unwillingness to simply “be with” what is.

So when you hope that you or another person is well, you may choose the intention that this person fully engages his or her life, physically, mentally and emotionally; that there will be times when the person suffers greatly and is overwhelmed with the state of affairs. But it is also helpful to remember that when all of us practice, we nurture our ability to completely experience whatever is occurring, that it is not constant or permanent or always overwhelming. “Being well” is sowing the seeds for appreciating and accepting our life, whatever happens, just as it is.

Susan has been practicing Zen meditation for 18 years. She has a regular meditation practice and belongs to the Three Treasures Zen Community in San Diego, CA. Susan has also formed a meditation group in Poinciana, Florida, and teaches meditation. She was empowered as a Dharma Holder in December 2009. In addition to her spiritual practices, Susan has her own business, the Quinn Company, and has been an independent consultant and trainer since 1978. She specializes in facilitation of problem solving for teams and groups in conflict. She is certified to train using the DiSC Personal Profile System. Her other best-received training programs are “Dealing with Difficult People,” “Managing Conflict,” and “Learning to Live in the Eye of the Hurricane.” She also offers values clarification workshops and strategic planning services in partnership with her husband, Jerry. You can reach Susan at the Quinn Company, 134 Lemon Grove Drive, Poinciana, FL 34759, 863-393-8197, or email susan@thedeepestspirituallife.com.

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